Day I’ve-lost-count or the one about memories

I read somewhere that the skies are more clear, and so the sun appears more often, due to the drop in air traffic. Normally when I look up from my desk I can see planes taking off on the horizon. These days I see blue skies. With the exception of yesterday morning when I saw one plane take off. I stopped what I was doing and looked at it take to the skies until I could no longer see it. It felt nice to look at something so ordinary. I kind of forgot they existed. Planes. They’ve taken me to so many wonderful places. And they will again, just not right now.

Right now it feels like we’re all living vicariously through our memories. Through the photos on our phones, the movies on TV, the dreams while we sleep. Memories are something I think we take for granted a lot of the times. We make them constantly, yet we hardly relive them. Which is a shame really. There’s something to say for living in the moment. To be able to move forward, you’ve gotta do just that. But memories are a precious asset. The don’t only remind you of the wonderful things you’ve experienced, or the hardship you’ve overcome, they give you a reverence point. Looking back you can see not only where you’ve come from, but also where you might wonder off to and you get to decide if that is the direction you want to continue to follow or switch course.

If you know me, you know I’m a sucker for memories. I’m nostalgic, I like to reminisce. Not only because it allows me to relive certain precious moments, but also because I can see what I want more or less of in life. And then come back to the present day and make that happen.

They say that if you’re depressed you live in the past, if you’re anxious, you live in the future and if you’re at ease, you live in the now. I say it’s not that black and white. You can live in the thoughts of the future and look forward to something. You can think back of the past and use it to your advantage. And you can live in the now but it can still be an anxious moment.

I don’t want to go all ‘these days/in these uncertain times’ on you, because those lines appear in everywhere, but as is the case with cliché’s, they are a cliche for a reason.

Perhaps memories are what get us through this. Or maybe we look at the future and the thought of all that we can do again one day, may fill you with hope. But let’s not forget to make memories right now as well. Aside from all those filled with uncertainty and fear and anxiety. Look at the things that bring you joy right now. I know that is a cliche as well, again, for a reason. Our brains need a little time off every now and again. And it would be a shame if all you saw when you look back on this period of your life was hurt and dispair. It is present for sure, it is overwhelming to say the least, but even on the darkest days there’s always tomorrow. Or a 99 year old gentleman who walks around his garden with his walker raising money for healthcare. Or someone sending you a text out of the blue that makes you smile. Or a piece of cake.

  • Day twenty-seven

    A slight breeze wafts in through the open windows. There’s a hint of fire in the air. Someone has fired up the BBQ early. It’s sunny, it’s warm. Music blasts through the speakers in my living room. Sorry but not sorry neighbours. This afternoon I spent a whole hour in the forest near my home.

    Continue Reading
  • Day twenty-five

    Met up with an actual human being today. You know, one of those human beings that you know personally. Not the florist or the mailman. It’s hard to believe that it had been 24 days since I last saw someone I knew. In some ways times feels like it’s flying by, in other ways, not

    Continue Reading
  • Day twenty

    There are moments when it all just seems like any other normal day. That you have to remind yourself that it has been twenty days since you last met someone you know in person. That it has been twenty-one days since you last hugged someone. That this is, in fact, not normal. I could, of

    Continue Reading
  • Day seventeen

    Day seventeen. Woke up. Daylight savings time, check. Sunshine on my face, check. Anxiety attack, check. Time for coffee. Yes, yes, I know. ‘Coffee makes anxiety worse!’ But I’m not about to lessen my coffee intake just while there’s a pandemic going on. Fight or flight mode, check. Oven preheating to 220 degrees, check. Feed

    Continue Reading
  • Day fifteen

    Day fifteen was a turning point. Day fourteen was crap, because I had just finished my Spring cleaning. Now what was I supposed to do? Knit? Sadly my grandmother passed her death-to-knitting gene onto me. Oh, to be a knitter and be able to create the most comfiest cardigans. Anyway. Like I said. Day fifteen

    Continue Reading