It’s a bird! It’s a plane! It’s…not Superman! It’s my laptop. It’s old, it gets overheated by just being alive. It’s been with me through years of freelancing, travel and Netflix. It holds almost two decades of blog archives, endless first drafts, brainstorm sessions and duplicate images. It’s a mess, but I love it.
And as I sit here, in a library basement, overlooking a white wall, I’m getting my brain equally overheated as my laptop is. But not by just being alive: but by thinking I need to make a choice. Career wise, blog wise, social media wise. I feel I need to find a niche and stick with it. Or do I?
I remember having this conversation with people often: do you have to choose? The answer is always no.
And yet, I keep on pondering it.
Not because I’m still looking for the answer, but because it provides an easy way out. As long as I keep pondering this question, I do not have to work on something, but I can remain in the startup phase forever. That phase where you can change your mind daily, list all your to do’s and not do any.
The fear being, having a direction set in stone, and then wanting to change my mind. Like there’s some kind of law against that. Besides, a change of mind is just a new idea. If I change my mindset accordingly, making a choice becomes less daunting. But why choose? Things like writing, photography, art and travel become less generic by adding umpf in the form of unique perspectives, experiences and thought processes anyway. And perspectives, experiences and processes are not stagnant. So why choose?
See, I might not know where it’s all going from here, or what it is that I want to pursue or write about, but I do know I have to practice what I preach. Which for now basically means pressing ‘publish’ and moving on, not looking back and certainly not hitting delete later on.
No way out.